Day 31. Right smack in the middle.

Today we packed our 75% off Target backpacks and went to one of my friend's houses to hang out. The kids did about 70% of their school work for the day. I helped my friend rearrange her house. One of my all time favorite things to do. I love the feeling of change and refreshing your surroundings. It makes me happy.

We left around noon, ate at Jack in the box for lunch for $5.97 for 4 of us. (love the 99 cent menu) and then went to the park. It is unbelievably windy today.... like trees down, trash cans in the road, even pumpkins rolling from neighbors porches.

The kids had a ball at the park. They ran in the wind, played catch the leaf, did summersaults, rolled down hills...everything a kid should do. I sat and watched, and breathed.

I resigned from my job at our church this past month. Lots of logistics of the job have changed over the past couple years that I have worked there. It just isn't a good fit for our family anymore. It's time for me to move on and re-balance, re prioritize, and rejuvenate. It is emotional for me because I love the people and I love serving in ministry. I have done it my whole life. I have poured my heart and soul into this ministry for the past three years, so changing that is inevitably painful.

"Change is hard. Positive change is just as hard as negative change. Sometimes it’s easier to stay stuck than to move forward. It’s hard to tell how many major adjustments I’ve avoided making because I was busy tending to insignificant side items. It’s tempting to divert attention from the big thing that God wants me to change by slam dunking something that ultimately doesn’t matter at all."

My husband emailed this to me from someone else's blog. This could not ring more true in my life right now. This is not to say my job or my church is insignificant. Because they are incredibly significant. However, if I am no longer where God wants me to be, then for me to continue down this path, regardless of how "good" the things are that I am doing is not o.k. Those things will become a distraction in my life. Hanging on to something that I want, is just not going to work out in the long run for anyone.

I have to live out God's best for me and allow Him to use me in the way that He created me. My life has been turned upside down in the last 6 months. I was not expecting it. Some days I do not like it. Some days I am incredibly peaceful. One thing that is constant, is that in times like these, the reality of God working in my life is so very evident. Even though it can be enormously painful, that part is the best.

So, I began homeschooling for a year to save some money before my youngest started kindergarten as well. Now I am unemployed. Hmmm. He knew what He was doing. He allowed my family months to adjust to the idea of homeschool. I had weeks to prepare and get ready for the school year. I can't imagine how yucky this all would be if I had ignored Him and put the kids in school anyway. I would have had to pull them out in a matter of days.

I have no idea what is going to happen with this. Sometimes the Lord really does work in mysterious ways. I am trying to do my best to listen and obey, with the desire to stay in the center of God's will. All I can do is to continue taking it one day at a time.

...and today there is just 139 school days until summer.