Feb 1, 2010

Day 69. Keeping It Real.

Oh today is one of those days. Have you ever noticed it seems the really good days are followed by the REALLY bad ones. Today was opening registration day for school next year. How ironic that we were supposed to be almost debt free by now and we had to tell the kids today that school next year is a no go. Tears. Not only that, struggling to find the finances for homeschool next year. That's pure irony.

Today I keep struggling with things that the kids are "missing" at school outside the home. Some independence, Cameron's 5th grade promotion ceremony, time with their friends, the first day of Kindergarten for Emma? ugh.

This has been the strangest year of my life to date, I think...Thank goodness that the people in my life who build me up are more prevalent then the ones that tear me down. That I have a supportive husband to figure out life with, three precious kiddos who try their best to role with the punches, and the God given wisdom to know what the right thing is to do.

I often hear Christians say that God doesn't give us more then we can handle, but I prefer to think of it that God gives us the tools we need to handle what we've been given....I've got what I need to get up day in and day out and do this. Just gotta find it and grab it. Today it's one of those days....again. There will be many more in the future, and I will get through them the exact same way. One foot in front of the other, friends by my side, minor temper tantrums, prayer, and a whole lot of kickboxing.

I feet caught in the middle of some educational abyss. I don't feel like I "fit" really anywhere. While there are definite things I have come to adore about homeschooling, I struggle so badly some days with wanting my kids back where I feel like they belong. A very wise woman in my life told me the other day...that if the Lord isn't providing the funds, then you probably don't need them. I guess we don't need much of anything right now, but each other....and we've got that.

Now there is just 101 school days left until summer.











2 comments:

  1. I have to agree with you on this one... I think that he never gives us more than we can handle because sometimes right when we hit out max He handles us.... he carries us through. Then, when He knows we're ok... he let's us walk again. Sometimes the tools we need are simply holding up our arms...
    I think of Kaden... even before he muttered up, as his mommy, I knew when it was coming... I knew when he was physically tired, or he smashed his finger, or he just needed a love...arms raised here he'd come... and I embraced those times... I think it is like that with Jesus... Compared to Him, we are just little babies with our arms raised up. :)
    You can do this... you WILL reach your goals even if they aren't the specific goals you thought a year ago... your goals are God's will and LOOK what you have done in half a year! You are amazing and so is our God who will carry you AND your babies. <3

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