Day 40. Gumdrops and Ponies.

As my job is winding down, today brought a potluck lunch at work for a going away party. My mom came down to watch the kids from about 11-5 today. Allowing me to attend the lunch and work on wrapping up more projects down at church. I have been working more than usual these past few weeks as I am trying to finish up well.

My mother is a brilliant sub. I asked her to review Roman Numerals with Cameron. Wouldn't you know it, ...my rather large clock in the classroom has Roman Numerals. She's amazing, I tell you. I missed that one completely. I was able to work with the kids for about an hour today and she finished up with them in the afternoon.

I have been so pensive lately, I am exhausting myself. I am in one of those times in life where I am learning like crazy and hopefully growing half as much. I have always known I am a people person, but I think this year I have learned how deeply my desire to love on people runs. Our lives are not always filled with gumdrops and ponies. Life is messy. Circumstances hurt you. People fail you. The trick is to roll up your sleeves and walk through it. You can't ignore reality and have deep meaningful relationships. You can't ignore reality and live a deep meaningful life. You can throw a band aid over it, but inevitably it will be ripped off.

"For as deep as you have hurt, is as wide as you can experience joy." I love that. I read that awhile back, not sure where. It stuck with me. Living with Authenticity means looking at reality. Reality isn't always pretty. Many times it hurts. However, turning your face from it, doesn't make it go away. Slow down enough to see the forest through the trees. Fix what is broken. Love who is in front of you, selflessly. Do what God asks of you, sacrificially.

I want to live a life that leaves a legacy. A life on the infamous road less traveled, I suppose. Gumdrops and ponies may or may not be a part of that.

Since homeschooling has come in to my life, I sit everyday for several hours and am forced to look at reality. My reality right now lies in the eyes of my children. I am reminded of what an awesome responsibility parenting is. I am reminded of how often I have put my home, my kids, and even at times, my husband on the back burner. It is never intentional, but happens all too easily. I may just put a jar of gumdrops on the corner of my desk to remind me.

There are just 130 school days left until summer.